…or, this is what happens when my brain is fried.

I sometimes dream about doing something very physical, very practical, and something very not academic. It’s my escape, a way to give my brain a break, a way to cultivate my imagination.

I want to open a pizza shop in Caronport. Can you believe that there is no pizza shop in this college town? How great would a pizza shop be?

And so, in my imagination, I open a pizza shop. It’s a one-counter store. No tables, for people to sit it at, it would mostly be a “take away” concept.

I call it Theo Pizza. And the pizzas are named after theology topics and theologians.

The basic pepperoni and cheese is called The Apostolic – the original, basic pizza that becomes the foundation for all other pizzas.

Pizza flavours that I don’t like get to be named after heretics. So the Hawaiian pizza (by far the worst pizza in the world), would be named The Arius.

The meat-intensive pizza, sometimes called the Meat Pizza or the Mega Meat would be called The Karl Barth, because we all know that his Dogmatics are awfully meaty.

A basic super-cheesy pizza could be called The Joel Osteen.

And of course, there would have to be a pizza named after Caronport. So in honour of the long winter, I would create The Caronport — a white pizza with alfredo sauce, cheese, chicken, potatoes, feta and white onions.

Come and join me in the land of imagination. I invite you to imagine yourself at Theo Pizza. What pizzas do you envision on the menu and what would they be called?